I was baptized as an infant. My parents and godparents gathered around the font and, together with that congregation, confessed their faith and made promises for my future. Those wildly optimistic and naive promises were made on behalf of the whole Christian church - including other congregations I would join and other people who would teach and love me in the years to come. They vowed to bring me to God's house, to place in my hands the scriptures and teach me the Ten Commandments and the Lord's Prayer. These promises were bigger than my little body or my understanding of God's grace and power, but through the work of the Holy Spirit their faith gave birth to my faith.

I am thankful to the countless communities and people who have served me with an "outer call". Teachers and pastors took time and care to address my questions from a young age. Mentors and family members seemed interested in my vocational journey and dreams for the future. Even when I was deaf to the sound of the Holy Spirit's guidance, their wisdom and encouragement was clear.

Serving as an acolyte showed me the meaning and importance of light and children during worship. Wearing an alb, sitting up front and meeting with other worship leaders gave me a new perspective. I would follow the pastor around the altar collecting wine cups after communion, watching the faces of distinguished and admired adults. I remember the hungry desperation in their eyes and the way they held out their hands in search of something more than a nice house, good job and handsome kids. Their faith blurred into my faith, teaching me lessons I still can't explain. I learned to believe in the power of the Lord's Supper through their unknowing witness. They made time for my questions about liturgy and faith. They thanked me for helping with worship and called me a blessing from God. Each small comment of appreciation and encouragement named me as a member of Christ's body and called my attention to God's vocational plan for my life.

While I was always fascinated by worship and the church, I never wanted to be a pastor. I studied religion in college but refused to admit that God had plans for me in the parish. And then I met Pastor Chris, a young pastor and mentor who came to serve my home congregation while I was away at college. He provided internship opportunities for me in the church and wandered with me on my vocational journey. While everyone else wanted to know what I was going to do when I graduated, he asked about who I was meant to be.

Pastor Chris taught me that every pastor struggles to balance her personal and professional personas. He taught me that people need spiritual leaders who are willing to be authentic. Chris was patient and persistent as we waded through my questions and hesitations, always assuring me that God was looking for leaders just like me. I was relieved to know that I didn't have to be perfect or have all the right spiritual answers to be a pastor. These conversations and experiences in congregational ministry helped me sense the ways God was calling me to ministry through others. The outer call nurtured my inner call and soon I learned to trust God's plan for my life and ministry.

Faith in God's call is far from easy. On occasion I've found it to be rather intolerable. Sometimes I wanted to leave my faith in the dust. My baptism often felt inactive or absent, and I wondered if it would be easier to face the world's uncertainties and suffering without God. I tried, but the Holy Spirit is sneakier than your average teenage girl - both patient and persistent. He knows that we will tire before he is done calling and gathering and sending.

While my stubbornness seemed to drown out the sound of my own inner call, it could not silence the outer call. I had been infused with Christ through Bible stories, liturgy, potlucks and that nasty little habit of prayer. I have been surrounded by a community of people invested in my faith and future. My baptism was determined to follow me wherever I went. And I was surprised by the comfort and hope that realization gave me.

Now, when I watch a baptism and stand to make promises on behalf of that person, I remember that I am promising to help raise my whole Christian family. After all, it has taken an entire Christian village to raise me! I smile when I show young acolytes how to tie the cincture around their waists - the same slipknot someone once showed me. Whenever I serve communion, I look into the faces of my Christian brothers and sisters before making them a priceless promise: This is the body of Christ, given for you. I watch people hold out their hands in need of God's presence and loving forgiveness. Then I ask the Spirit, "Who needs to be blessed and encouraged as I was? Who needs an outer call?"

And the Spirit replies softly, "Who doesn't?"

To read more of Meta's thoughts on life, ministry and the Gospel, visit her blog at "Mountain View."

Meta Herrick was a 2004 FTE Congregational Fellow. For more information on the FTE Congregational Fellowship, visit the Support for Seminary Students page on the FTE web site.