"If you can imagine yourself doing anything else, you shouldn't pursue parish ministry." I recall hearing this more than once when I was considering parish ministry, and it gave me serious and long pause. After all, I could see myself serving quite well without being ordained. I eventually concluded that this type of thinking unnecessarily elevates ordained ministry over lay ministry. If I'm going to take the ministry of the baptized seriously, there is no reason for me to put my own perceived call on a pedestal. The call to ordained ministry is not separate from our call as baptized Christians. God calls lay and ordained Christians alike to serve in different capacities throughout our lives.

That being said, my own call as I currently understand it is to be a parish minister. One of the things I enjoy about working in a parish – what attracted me to it in the first place – is the diversity of the job. When I began parish work I wanted an associate rector position that would allow me the opportunity to gain experience leading in all areas of parish life. Time and time again parishes asked that I focus my attention on youth ministry, but eventually I was called to a parish in which I was allowed to share in every area of parish life.

No two weeks are the same. Some days ministry feels like a desk job, as I sit in my office and take care of one necessary detail after another. I study for sermons, prepare for worship, administer church programs, and provide pastoral care. Some days, however, my office becomes the hospital, the nursing home, the home of a parishioner, the coffee shop, my car, or the altar.

Of course, no profession is perfect. My mentors told me that parish ministry would not always be glorious. The people who told me that I should do something else if I could imagine it were indirectly pointing to a truth that I've discovered: ministry is hard. Some days are boring. Parish work can often feel inefficient and ineffective. For me, though, the thing I struggle with the most is what it means to be a symbol-bearer of the divine. As a parish minister I am called to something that seems so audacious: to speak about whom God is and how God works in human lives. I consider this to be an integral piece to any church's mission, but speaking about God can be the easiest, most covert way to take the Lord's name in vain. Sometimes I feel so presumptuous.

And yet I find that preaching is something I truly love. This is not exactly something I saw coming. I really did not like going to church as a teenager, and I particularly did not like listening to sermons, finding most of them didactic and paternalistic. As I began to preach, which I did with great reluctance, my own sermons considered and acknowledged my doubts and fears about God in Christ and about us. I didn't pretend that I had life all figured out. Somewhere along the line, I began to realize that some people found these open and honest journeys through the text helpful. They had an opportunity through my questions to reconsider, to broaden, and to deepen their lives with God in Christ. That still amazes me.

For this reason, I believe that the work of the parish is absolutely necessary. The Christian tradition is incredibly rich. My own tradition particularly, but certainly not exclusively, offers ways of meaning-making that ask people to engage their hearts and minds, to pray that God's will be done and then to roll up their sleeves and work to help make that happen. We all long for these chances to know and be known, to love and to be loved, in our heart of hearts.

I can't tell you that I'll be in parish ministry for the entirety of my career. If I've learned anything, it's that the Spirit sure can throw a great curveball. My prayer for myself, as it is for anyone – whether she be a parishioner, a parish minister, or someone considering parish ministry – is that we will be brave and courageous enough to continue to follow Christ with all of our hearts.

Ann Bonner-Stewart was a 2003 FTE Congregational Fellow. For more information on the FTE Congregational Fellowship, visit the Support for Seminary Students page on the FTE web site.